Funny pick up lines are always handy because you never know when you’re going to meet the person of your dreams. And you may only get that one chance to make your mark. For this reason, it’s a good idea to always have ready some really good pick up lines that work.
So to help you out, we’ve gathered together the best funny pick up lines ever ready for use on Valentine’s Day, or any other day for that matter. These hilarious pick up lines are guaranteed to work – well to have some sort of effect anyway…
The Best Funny Pick Up Lines Ever
Your name must be Coca Cola, because you’re soda-licious.
You’re hotter than the bottom of my laptop.
If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.
I have amnesia, do I come here often?
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk?
Do you sleep on your stomach? If not, can I?
I’m going to kiss you now. Say “Kiss me” now if you want me to stop.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Your lips look lonely. Let me introduce them to mine.
Is there a mirror in your pants…? I think I can see myself in them..
Hi, I’m doing a survey …What’s your name? What’s your phone number? Are you free next Saturday?
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs do still exist, don’t they?
I’m going to give you a kiss. If you don’t like it, just return it.
I think there’s something wrong with my phone. Could you try calling it for me to see if it rings?
My magical watch says you aren’t wearing any underwear! (I am.) It must be an hour fast.
You must be a keyboard, because you’re just my type.
You’re so hot, if you ate bread you’d poop out toast.
If I had to rate you from 1 to 10, I’d rate you as a 9 because I’m the 1 you’re missing.
What do I have to do to get on your drunk dial list?
You make me wish I wasn’t gay.
If you were a basketball, I’d never shoot because I’d always miss you.
I’m new in town. Can I have the directions to your house please?
My feet are getting cold… because you’ve knocked my socks off.
There’s something wrong with my mobile. It doesn’t have your number in it.
It’s a good job I brought my library card, because I’m checking you out.
I’m not drunk… I’m just intoxicated by you.
I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me instead?
Is your second name Jacobs, because you’re a cracker?
If you were a bogey, I would pick you first.
Excuse me, but I think I dropped something… my jaw!
Was your mother a beaver? Because DAAAAMN girl!
Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.
I bet you $10 you’re gonna turn me down.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van.
There’s a huge sale going on in my bedroom right now. Clothes are 100% off!
Here I am. Now what are your other two wishes?
Hey girl, you’re gonna have to stop eating magnets; you’re making me attracted to you.
Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.
Can I borrow your phone? I need to call God and tell him I’ve found his missing angel.
You must be from Tennessee, because you’re the only ten I see!
Do you know what this shirt is made of? Boyfriend material
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.
Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.
(Lick finger and wipe on guy/girl’s shirt) Right, let’s get you out of those wet clothes.
Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you I smile.
Do you like sleeping? Hey, me too! Let’s do it together.
I wish you were my big toe… Then I would bang you on every piece of furniture at my house.
You must be in the wrong place. The Miss Universe contest is over there.
You’re so hot, you must be the reason for global warming.
I’ve lost my rubber duckie, will you bathe with me instead?
Is your name Google? Because you’re the answer to everything I’m looking for.
You look great and everything, but you know what would really look good on you? Me.
That dress would look great on my bedroom floor.
I’m looking for treasure – can I look around your chest?
Do you want to sit on my lap, and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Are you an orphanage? Because I wanna give you kids.
Do you want to go and do what I’m going to tell my friends we did anyway?
Don’t let me be the one that got away.
Please tell your breasts to stop staring at my eyes.
So what time do you have to be back in heaven?
Let’s flip a coin. Head, I’m yours. Tails, you’re mine.
The word of the day is ‘legs’, let’s go back to my place and spread the word.
If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
I may not be Fred Flintstone but I bet I can make your Bed Rock!
Are you a banana, because I find you so a-peel-ing?
Don’t tell me if you want me to take you out tomorrow. Just smile for yes, or do a back flip for no.
Baby, I’m no weatherman. But you can expect a few inches tonight.
Is your body from McDonald’s? Because I’m loving it.
I noticed you don’t have a penis between your legs. Would you like me to put one there?
I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me.
You have something on your ass… My eyes.
I wish you were a door, then I could bang you all day long.
Your hand looks heavy, would you like me to hold it for you?
On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?
I’m not actually this tall. I’m sitting on my wallet.
Girl, if you were words on a page, you’d be FINE print.
The Best Funny Pick Up Lines Ever
If you enjoyed this collection of the best funny pick up lines ever (or if for some strange reason these funny pick up lines didn’t work to win the girl of your dreams), be sure to try out the rest of our great pick up lines.
And if you’ve succeeded in getting her number, be sure to check out our tips on what to text a girl you like too.